Miss Manners

276 WineStyles, Scottsdale, AZ, Nikon D-80, f 5.6, 1/125, ISO 125, Photo Shopped Curved, 12-18-09

The year was 1984, it was a two bedroom town home overlooking a beautiful canal on the island of Oahu. Newly married and celebrating our first home together, we invited my husbands Mother and Father over for dinner.

As she walked through the front door, she already seemed to be upset with something, but kept her thoughts to herself. There was small talk and big talk and nothing was easing the growing irritation within her. Finally, we offered her a cocktail knowing our choices were limited by our inexperience with drinking. Beer, wine and maybe the ingredients for a strawberry daiquiri?

It was then that the straw broke the camels back. We were spoiled brats with a beautiful first home, we were grossly happy and insanely enamored with each other and to top off the reasons for anger, we were idiots at entertaining. "When you invite someone over to your home, you offer them a drink. This is after you have called prior to their arrival and know what beverage they prefer to drink". Hers at the time was 7up and Jack Daniels. Seriously? The rest of the evening involved a trip to the store to collect proper libations, continued 'Miss Manners' lessons and a strong desire to shove an etiquette book right up her you know what.

For years I have recounted that story and have always made my mother-in-law out to be the biggest bi-atch of all time, but tonight...Yes, that's right...tonight 25 years later, the table was turned. Turns out, she flippin' was right! I've put on and been to hundreds of parties since then and because it's done so effortlessly, there was never need to take note...until this evening. We arrived, were greeted nicely, noticed a circle of 10 people playing a card game and that's it, after that we were never looked at, talked to or acknowledged again. The person who brought me to the party was the sister of the host so she was comfortable enough to walk into the kitchen and made HERSELF a drink.

Is an apology after 25 years too late? I was young much like the college grads gathered in the room tonight, but I now see the wrong in not making a guest feel right.