Shadow Movements

112 Bo V. actual shadow from a trampoline back flip...I cropped out Bo in the air and kept the image you see., Paradise Valley, AZ, 5-31-10

The year was 1991. Married for 7 years and hormonally challenged with the impending birth of our first baby, a phone call came in from a past girlfriend of Scott's. Huh? This was borderline insanity to me. I couldn't fathom someone hanging on for 10 years for some reassurance about their past relationship or reasoning why they broke up. "Hmmmph", I thought as he carried on a beautiful and civil conversation.

My friends, I will tell you; Be aware of the evil you feel and spew becauseth just as you thinketh it, it will happen to youeth. :) As I was in judgement, I am now to be judged. Struggling with my own closures, I'm placed in a predicament of empathizing with this poor girl. It's horrible to feel that you were not respected and nurtured out of a relationship with as much coddling and love that went into making the connection in the first place. :) I'm sorry Ms. K...I hope Scott was kind to you as you heard the words you wanted to hear and should have heard long before you found the guts to make that phone call.

Lesson of the day: Finish your chapters as you write your books and walk free without the shadows of your past presenting themselves in your future. :) Goodnight friends

Competitive Edge

113 Danny & Phil, Chandler, AZ, 5-30-10

Are you a competitive person? I've always claimed that I hate competitions and what it brings out in people especially, those horrid fathers of the boys in youth baseball and football leagues. But, as the years creep within my being, I can see, much to my surprise...I'm TOTALLY A COMPETITIVE BRAT.

In photo class, I confidently display my pictures knowing I'm a hands down winner :) In dance class, I twirl and whirl about knowing that I can kick some major bootayyyy! In Toastmasters, I prepare my speeches knowing full well my moment will come with 3 speakers and the audience will have to vote for their favorite speech. Yes, I am out for blood.

If you knew me, though, I've done a pretty good job of masking my abilities (another competitive bratty move on my part). Never let them see you sweat. So, when I lose or cannot perform something up to my grossly overrated ego, I call the game with a silent pout. I refuse to attend anymore Yoga classes because as I try to lift my leg higher than anyone else in the class and breathe better, I always walk away in more pain than when I came. I miss the point of seeking within and mastering my own abilities instead comparing myself to others.

Aren't I too old for all this self reflective, work on yourself pep talk? Are you? Find the good in being good, but not the best in besting the rest. :)

Far Out Man

114 Neil B. 50th Birthday, Woodstock Theme, (Monkey Claw Fern Picture taken on Molokai, HI, 4-10), 5-29-10

Alright, this blog is supposed to be unfiltered and chronicle various excursions, experiences and emotions...Sooooo, without anymore hesitation and fear of my daughter actually reading this specific entry, I'm not gonna lie.

The story goes like this...Woodstock theme meant, full-on 1969 authenticity. From tents to camp in, to food as if we were there to music like we were standing in front of the stage. There were "stations" where the signs read, "10 cent hits/hash" or "$1.00/black magic" and everywhere you looked was a peace sign and tie dyed material.

The table centerpieces were bongs (marijuana bubble makers) and the smell of intermittent wafts of pot and cigarette smoke were as much a part of the night as the shaggy hair wigs everywhere. Ahhhh, lovely. :) When I was in the 8th grade, I ran away from a party that looked oddly familiar like this, but tonight, I welcomed the sights and sounds. It was cool to drift back to the late 60's and share in the groovy music with our far out friends.

But, what was I not gonna lie about? Oh yeah, I tried a 'brownie'. :) Hee hee...Was pretend I think because I felt nothing except silly for trying something I've kept taboo for all these years. Sometimes being an adult without the the typical experiences and choices of a normal teenager makes for an epic night that was 'cool man'! :) Peace to you all.

Blossom Now

115 Scottsdale, AZ, 5-28-10

Has anyone given way to the notion that "The End Is Near"? :) Seems funny to type it out, but the circles I've gathered in have ever so quietly begun the chatter and murmuring.

It's not the fear of it actually being true that we are in the final days that has me giddy; Nope what has my key in the ignition and ready to start the engine is the idea that if it really is close...What should I do that I haven't done and what do I want to do more of that I love!

It's almost as if I've been let into the club of 'live the dream now'. It's exciting and exhilarating!!! What about you? Stop for one second and imagine that 6 months from now, the world that you know of is over...What should you do...What should you do right now to feel like you've drank from the cup of life? Mine is 100% love more, live more & give more!!! Here's to you, blossoming NOW :)

Whole Story

116 Picture taken in Mesa, AZ, Someone's front yard decoration, 5-27-10

The question was asked at a meeting I just attended, "How many of you have wanted to write a book"? As I mulled over the query, I realized, we all are writing our own books. Will they be published? Probably not...but theoretically, every person you see and know has their own stories and chapters in the works.

As you go along and write, sometimes, rewrite certain story lines, do you ever wish you could rip out at least a few of the pages or even the whole chapter as if it never happened? Honestly, I've always believed that no one should live with regrets, but the truth is...we all do? It's what makes us human and real and learning.

The chapter I'd love to erase from my personal book would be sacrificing wisdom gleaned to create the woman I am today. Sometimes lessons learned and reputations burned are the only reminders that we are not on a cross and perfect. But born of man and on a path to choose right. What is your story? Your "whole story"? If it's like mine, full of hiccups along the way...Remember there is always THIS DAY to make it better. Love the book you are writing...:)

Complete Understanding

117 Me, Kirkland, WA, 5-26-10

To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.

Cyber Advisor

118 FcC, Scottsdale, AZ, 5-25-10

I have a question for those faithful followers and 'drive by' viewers of this blog? Something that has me baffled and should be such a simple answer has me confused. I cannot for the life of me find the reasoning and therefore, cannot advise with confidence. Please pass on your wisdom with the following scenario:

There are two people who have amicably decided that they would be better off not in each others lives; Why does one of the people refuse to have respect for the relationship and sign off with a written or verbal, "Take care of yourself and goodbye". In other words, one of the two who mutually agreed to the break, has taken a silent walk and refuses any acknowledgement of the other.

What are your thoughts? Is this a positive way of making a clean break? Is the party who refuses to say goodbye reacting with Junior High School skills/behavior and the pattern is to be commended or is this participant in the break unhappy about the detachment and is secretly wishing for a reunion? What about the person who wishes for closure and has requested a simple goodbye? Are they only vying for attention and really don't want a final goodbye either or are they seriously (as revealed to me) in need of a final curtain call to finally move on in a healthy way?

My advice has been mixed and changes with the time that has elapsed since the said departure from their relationship. Can hardly wait to hear what your thoughts, comments and expertise' will be! :)))

Filtered Vision

119 Scottsdale, AZ, 5-24-10

Lyrics from "Have Faith In Me" by ~A Day To Remember

Have faith in me
Cause there are things that I've seen I don't believe
So cling to what you know and never let go
You should know things aren't always what they seem

I said I'd never let you go, and I never did
I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it
If you didn't have this chance then I never did
You'll always find me right there, again

Quiet Cross

120 St. Bernadette's Church Hillside, Scottsdale, AZ, 05-23-10

Hello Everyone! I've been MIA for a few days now...Feel like I've been lost in the desert and the guide home was this simple cross off in the distance.

The sermon today was about not hanging on to what our human needs would like to control, but pouring out and giving to the human in need.

What is it you are clinging to that you fear if you let go, you'll be lost? Mine is about a childhood fear that I'm striving to overcome. When I feel the most threatened, I retreat to my eight year old self to survive even to the point of forfeiting my adult intellect reasoning? Isn't that crazy? Good luck to you my friends and seek refuge in the quiet cross that is always upright and available. :)

Pointy Words

121 Tip of Cactus, Paradise Valley, AZ 5-22-10

It was a supposed friend of hers? She claimed to be acting and speaking on behalf of her conscious and being supportive of her life. Really?

Could have fooled me as I was given record of her emails and could identify at least 10 areas where this "friend" was jealous as hell and her pointy words were meant to harm rather than help.

Run...Run my friends...Away from people who wish bad for you. In a world where there is so much negative promotions, lean towards the light and find your true 'village' of people that will really have your back. You'll know them by the ones who will poke those that dare to prick you...:)

Find your circle of love and abolish the hate. You deserve the best because God made you best!

Bartlett Best

122 Scott & I, (Picture Taken by Tricia Leach), Bartlett Lake, Arizona, 05-21-10

It happens once in a while...After 25 years together, it really sincerely happens...Where you look across at your mate and think, "Oh my God...I'm so lucky to have you".

After a day on the water where the weather was beautiful, the friends were awesome and surfing in the wake of a boat side by side; The moment presented itself, "Life is good and even better because we could share this together"!

Here's to you finding that special person you can look through your eyelashes and see the one you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. Goodnight friends.

Dream Husband

123 Scott V., Paradise Valley, AZ, 5-20-10

Head Cut Off

124 Paradise Valley, AZ 5-19-10

Baby Pure

125 Capri W., Photo Taken by Photographer, Mark Skalny @Just Kids Photo Studio, Paradise Valley, AZ 5-18-10

Walking On

126 Scottsdale, AZ 5-17-10

Confirmation

127 Dee M., Being Confirmed, St. Barnabas on the Desert, Paradise Valley, AZ, 5-16-10

Shocking!!!

129, 128 Mr. and Mrs. C., Scottsdale, AZ, 05-14-10, 05-15-10

They dated for two and half years. Within that time frame, they experienced incredible highs and devastatingly lows and just when the world would have written them off...They eloped!!!

Never put your relationships, your efforts or your time into what others may think. When you live right & choose right, you'll alway be in the right.

Congratulations to Mike and Nat. May God bless you both!

One Done

130 Tucson, AZ, 5-13-10

Really? It's been a full year of school? Wasn't I just blogging about being sad and lonely and missing my baby girl and now we are packing up her dorm and bringing her home?

Oh my friends, it's without a doubt proof positive that time flies! It's a happy day to be picking her up, but I swear it feels like I just moved her in.

We took our freshly graduated senior high school baby girl into Coronado Dorms and now we are driving our soon to be sophomore girl home. With respect to her new maturity and wisdom gleaned, we are acknowledging her rise to her adult life. I wonder if she will understand our attempts to treat her as an adult with responsibilities now? We'll see and I'll definitely keep you blogged posted! :) Yaaaay...My Lexiloo is coming home!!!

Brilliant Business

131 Kathleen T., Topaz, Clean2-Skin, Paradise Valley, AZ, 5-12-10

Wear Pink!

132 Danny's Car Wash Rollers, Scottsdale, AZ, 5-11-10

Not purple...not fusia, but PINK! It's a party to celebrate Mikayla turning 50 again!!! :) She looks 35, acts 28 and feels 97. Her body has decided to start a war within itself and her mind is hopefully on the winning side.

Breast cancer, stage 3 (Out of 4). It's so far along they said that they needed to first start her on chemo and radiation before they go into remove the cancer. :(

So tonight, two weeks after her first treatment, she is celebrating life, her life! Wearing pink is such a small request considering the list of wants and needs...

Pray for Mikayla, pray for yourself and take a moment to look around and be grateful for the little things you've been overlooking because it's always there, like the color pink...God bless you all.

Not Dead

133 4/10, Picture taken & Artist interpretation by Joelle C. Gallery, Molokai Hawaii, 5-11-10

Mothers Day Guilt

134 Model, The 'W' Resort, Scottsdale, AZ 5-9-10

Trail Frail

135 Picture Taken 4/10, Molokai, Hawaii, 5-8-10

"Dear God, Your will, nothing more, nothing less, nothing else. Amen." ~Bobby Richardson (Yankee 2nd Basemen)

Accepting

136 Phoenix Zoo Taken Yesterday, Phoenix, AZ, 5-7-10

Accepting your abilities to make a change; Worrying less about accepting what needs to be changed!

Does a giraffe ever want to be a zebra?

Monkey See

137 Phoenix Zoo, Phoenix, AZ, 5-6-10

Why is it so hard to take a walk in a new direction? Is it really the fear of failure or is it the calm of habit that renders us stunted in our attempts?

What ever your course of new beginnings, I hope you find the good in seeing and starting fresh. Good luck my friends.

Cinco Pinko

138 Paradise Valley, AZ 5-5-10

Ahhh yes, a day worthy of celebrations and cocktails! That's margarita cocktails of course. Vividly alive and full of color...We settled in for a simple Mexican fiesta here at the house.

Sometimes it's just nice being alone together and experiencing the in "sync-0" pinko moments. Buenas Noches friends.

Good Karma

139 Taken on Molokai, Hawaii, 5-4-10

What is it about silence that people dig on so much? I personally have no use for it? A quiet murmur of activity, the birds chirping outside my window and music playing softly in the background is as silent as I want my world to be.

No silent retreats (Where talking isn't permitted), no silent treatments (Where the skilled spouse takes great pride in an evil passive/aggresive routine) and NO SILENT goodbye's.

When it's time to say goodbye for any reason, please do so the same way you would say hello...Happy, honest, tons of talking and with lots of hugs...:))))

And so ends my lecture...It's about good karma people. All love always!

Just Do, Don't Think

140 Taken 4/10 Molokai, Hawaii, Filter-Topaz-Sharpen-Simplicity, Buz Sim, 5-3-10

Doesn't it just feel like when you commit to finally making a decision to 'just do' what ever it is you have been lamenting about following through with, it's scary as hell?

Just like the waves roiling about the lands edge, you feel like you will crash and burn...But, my friends, please notice the calm at the edge of the picture. Let that be evidence of the peace you will feel as soon as you succumb to the notion that you should give in and "Do It"!

BEWARE though, that as soon as you commit to making a choice to allowing the moment of free fall to be a part of your existence...YOU also commit to the fall out of good or bad of the wave. Own up, love the excitement of the crash and live for now. Don't think, just do!!!

Under Construction

141 St. Barnabas on the Desert Renovation, Paradise Valley, AZ, Filter-Topaz Simplicity- Buz Sim, 5-2-10

This is just weird, but have you ever felt like you were two people at once? On one hand, you are together and brilliant and on the other, you are a mess under construction?

Notice this picture taken through a glass window which was to identify the changes within the interior of our sanctuary hall of our church, but after downloading the picture, showed the perfect exterior of our courtyard.

How ironic, that on this day, I feel as if this is a self portrait. It's difficult to put into words how hard it is to feel great on the outside when it's my inside that is feeling an upheaval of change. Find comfort in those around you who have found their balance. Thinking of you friends...

Bubble Wish

142 Paradise Valley, AZ, 5-1-10

I just re-watched the movie, "You've Got Mail" and instantly was so grateful for my cyberspace friendships that allow for communication via emails and text messages. Why is the technology of today getting such a bum rap for removing the human connection between people.

On the contrary, I think the internet has opened up the hidden and trapped doors for certain people who just can't get words out orally. And it's an amazing tool for learning about another person and their inner mind travels. You find out a person's wit, intelligence and humor based on their written words. I'm a fan people.

Just wanted that on record as I've had a day of wishing for my past communications I used to have with my inside circle. Which are now ironically, just crayon marks outside the printed drawings of today. Here is blowing bubbles and celebrating all the email/text buddies of the world. "You've got mail"...:)