118 FcC, Scottsdale, AZ, 5-25-10I have a question for those faithful followers and 'drive by' viewers of this blog? Something that has me baffled and should be such a simple answer has me confused. I cannot for the life of me find the reasoning and therefore, cannot advise with confidence. Please pass on your wisdom with the following scenario:
There are two people who have amicably decided that they would be better off not in each others lives; Why does one of the people refuse to have respect for the relationship and sign off with a written or verbal, "Take care of yourself and goodbye". In other words, one of the two who mutually agreed to the break, has taken a silent walk and refuses any acknowledgement of the other.
What are your thoughts? Is this a positive way of making a clean break? Is the party who refuses to say goodbye reacting with Junior High School skills/behavior and the pattern is to be commended or is this participant in the break unhappy about the detachment and is secretly wishing for a reunion? What about the person who wishes for closure and has requested a simple goodbye? Are they only vying for attention and really don't want a final goodbye either or are they seriously (as revealed to me) in need of a final curtain call to finally move on in a healthy way?
My advice has been mixed and changes with the time that has elapsed since the said departure from their relationship. Can hardly wait to hear what your thoughts, comments and expertise' will be! :)))
I am sincerely lacking in expertise in this, and so many areas, but I will share my thoughts! Challenging people to respond in what is thought to be the more mature route may be ideal for some or most, however, I feel though closure for every person looks different. Some people and/or the circumstances of various situations challenge people in ways that are incredibly difficult to understand. Sometimes the more mature route is to say nothing and walk away and yet others, one's head knows it is best to part ways and the heart feels differently and therefore leaving, be it running, crying or with a good luck to you, can't be scripted. Maybe the person who left regrets not saying goodbye after the fact but out of respect for the mutual decision decides to let it rest. Life is complicated, saying goodbye however necessary, normally is incredibly difficult. Maybe this one hits close to home at this point in my life and I have had to make peace with all of the above reactions. Who knows but there is my 2 cents at least! Glad you're back to blogging! love ya
ReplyDeleteChristy, your words were spot on. Closure does look different for every person. The wisdom you presented makes it obvious that true closing of their relationship requires true maturity within their own lives to know and love the other and stay detached regardless of how it is scripted. Not trying to have the other react or "be" like themselves resolves the issue of what is right or wrong.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing...Your 2 cents were perfect!!! Thanks for being my follower...Love you.